How to Cope with Uncertainty When You Have Anxiety
Do you ever feel like not knowing something is almost unbearable? Maybe you feel stuck unless you’re 100% sure what will happen next, or find yourself asking “what if?” over and over. Intolerance of uncertainty is a key character trait of people who struggle with anxiety.
It’s important to realize that uncertainty is uncomfortable, but not dangerous, even though it may feel so. By relating to uncertainty differently, it’s possible to live more freely and feel more relaxed.
What Is Intolerance of Uncertainty?
Intolerance of uncertainty (IU) is the tendency to react negatively—emotionally, cognitively, or behaviorally—to situations that are unclear or unpredictable. People who are high in IU often experience a strong urge to know, control, or prevent future outcomes. When certainty isn’t available (which, in life, is almost always the case), this can lead to chronic anxiety and an ongoing struggle to feel at ease.
IU doesn’t just mean disliking surprises or preferring to plan ahead. It can show up as a deep, persistent discomfort with ambiguity. It often has roots in past experiences—situations where the unexpected felt overwhelming, unsafe, or out of control. Over time, the mind can begin to equate uncertainty with danger, even when there’s no real threat.
How It Shows Up in Everyday Life
- Replaying decisions long after you’ve made them, wondering if you chose “right”
- Putting things off because you’re waiting to feel more sure
- Asking others for reassurance again and again
- Struggling to enjoy the present because you’re stuck worrying about what might go wrong
- Feeling physically tense, wired, or restless for no obvious reason
This persistent discomfort can be exhausting. And the efforts to avoid uncertainty often create more stress than the original issue.
Awareness and Behavioral Shifts to Tolerate Uncertainty
Having awareness is already a big step in better relating to uncertainty. Various situations provoke anxiety in us with their uncertainty — we need to be aware of that anxiety. The next step is to bring awareness to the subtle and unhealthy behaviors we do to provide assurance from the uncertainty. With practice we can start to shift these behaviors and act in a way that promotes calm and security. Over time the intolerance of uncertainty goes down and in its place comes peace and security.
Rather than trying to control every possible outcome, treatment focuses on helping us feel more grounded, even when answers aren’t clear. It’s about learning to live with the unknown in a way that feels less threatening and more manageable.
To learn more about treatment for anxiety and tolerating uncertainty, book a free 15-minute consultation here
This post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you’re struggling, please seek support from a licensed mental health provider.